Jun 2, 2013

New Stage

There have been big changes in the past month. Things have been incredibly difficult. I've had wins and devastating losses. And do you know who stood up for me? I stood up for me. For a very long time, I told people that no they could not treat me like dirt and hey, I'm an awesome, worthwhile and talented person.It's been another rough week again, but I'm a hardass. I'm not mucking around with that. I got bad enough news that police came looking for me uninvited to make sure I hadn't killed myself. And do you know what? I wasn't going there. I balled my eyes out, I spoke to the support system of friends and family that being a brave and now finally trusting person has provided me, and I told those cops that I'm fine, thanks, and to kindly not invade my privacy and perhaps do better things with their job than assume someone is going to decide they're worthless....like you know, actually arresting a criminal in the first place for once. They apologised and told me they would try. I have zero faith in them actually doing that 100% of the time at this point, but I also have something else. I have acceptance. And an end. Not the end I really wanted, but an end, and not without a few significant wins.I spent about 3 days emotionally ruined and exhausted, and now I have this. I have the realisation that the only important dates I have coming up on my horizon right now are the ones I'm actually looking forward to, and I can look after myself. I'm excited for my future. And by that I mean I am at the point right now where I enjoy waking up in the morning more often than not. And I've learned not to be afraid to bite back when someone disrespects me, or anyone else I care about. In short, I win.I can move on.
In related news, I want to watch The Mighty Ducks now.

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