Sep 7, 2011

Things I'd love to do over the summer break

It's time to start making fun lists again. We're at week nine of a 12-week trimester, last assignments are coming, exams will all be over by October 18th. As daunting as these last few weeks will be in terms of workload, I'm experiencing dizzying levels of excitement at the prospect of so much free time to use willingly in my near future. So much time to focus on learning new things and working hard on things because they are personally interesting, important and currently relevant to me and not because they are part of what is an interesting but not always perfectly engaging course structure. I can't wait!

This will be my first summer living near some of the most beautiful beaches in the world. My first summer with some new friends that I think I have connected to in ways I've never connected to people before. My first summer living in a share house where so much of my time will be my own and where for once, I am in the right space in my own head. A summer where I'm single and I'm not answering to anyone. There is so much I can do in 5 weeks' time! Here's a list of things that I'm really excited about sinking my teeth into. I'll add to it further as the time until university break becomes closer.

  • This summer I really want to write a proper published paper on the nature of human responsibility and it's influence on large-scale social change. I've been thinking about writing something big for a few years now, but I didn't want to write just for the sake of writing. I wanted to actually have something to say that people could talk about. Something that would act as an interesting catalyst for further discussion, because I think that exploration of a topic by many people holds more value than the opinion of one person. I feel that sometimes I come across as a know-it-all and that sometimes I fall into the trap of actually being that way as well, but I also think that I have come up with a very interesting idea on something in particular recently, and that research and publishing on that idea is a good way to get people talking about that - which means I can listen to others' opinions and really get an opportunity to learn something and test something out from an initial spark, not just from my own personal opinion. We shall see if I actually do this over summer, it's a huge body of work I'm talking about, but it seems so fun too. I have 300 words already saved as a writing plan, so there's that.
  • I really want to get fit and get into a healthier lifestyle pattern this summer too. Winter and busy study schedules has meant that I have fallen into laziness with my diet, sleep and exercise routines and I'm excited about the free time I'll have to pour into change there. I want to play with my own motivation levels during my time off so that I can do more with the time I have. This time studying seems so precious after being married and having worked in a corporate world with few hours to myself in the past. It's such a huge opportunity full of freedom.
  • I want to start making things more. I'm planning on getting a whole lot of things from the craft store and learning more about friendship bracelets, because I want to make a heap of really nice ones. I love being able to give little things to my mates in times of financial hardship and I think friendship bracelets are a really nice symbol of appreciation for people. They are the cutest things ever and I plan on never growing out of them. It's important to tell people that you think they're great. We forget to appreciate people that change our lives for the better on a daily basis at times, and those really are special people.
  • I am going to finish that damn drawing of Poppy for once because it has been sitting on top of my bookcase for months now!
  • I can't wait to spend more time at the beach, both to tone up and for the sheer enjoyment of the beautiful weather to come. It's so much fun bodyboarding. I might even try to surf some more this spring and summer. I'm hilariously bad at it, but I'm ok with being comic relief and I'd love to learn. Hopefully I'll get a few mates out there too, it's so much more fun when you're sharing the experience. That and dammit I'm getting these legs into better shape, they are just shameful right now aurghh!
  • I want to spend more time talking to, hanging out with and getting to know this one person. I have no idea how that will go and I'm a bit apprehensive about straight-up saying that in case they get really freaked out and start imagining loss of freedom and balls and chains, so we'll see. I'm in completely new territory here so I'm going to just hope for the best and tread super lightly. I'm not sure what will happen with that, but I like spending time getting to know interesting people, so for now that can be my primary aim.
  • I want to spend more time with my family. I've had so much fun with them all over the past couple of months and one thing I've started to notice is just how many things I can learn from all of them. Time with each of them is so precious, it needs to be preserved and cherished.
  • More fantastic time to learn as much as I possibly can about music. I think I'm going to start properly learning musical theory after classes finish for the year. It's something I've always admired in others and never imagined I'd be able to achieve myself, but I enjoy music so much that I think any form of learning more about it would be great, even if I don't master it.
I'm very excited! So many amazing things coming up on the immediate horizon and only a few short weeks of hard work until I get all of the freedom a girl could ever ask for.

Sep 5, 2011

An open letter to any men in my life

Before I start readers, let me say wow! You guys are awesome. I was welcomed by 6000 hits on my blog and four new followers upon today's early morning log-in. You all rock and are awesome and stuff, love love love! Ok, now on to the serious business of blogging.

Dear thatguyyouare,

Please, don't be hot and cold. Yes, I realise that it's also a song. Now that we've moved beyond that, you know who you are. You adore me! Then we don't talk for a week. Then you get bored and need some love, then you are suddenly mad at me for no reason. Now we're bff's! Oh look, we accidentally just accidentally each other again. Guy, don't do this. This is a bad on so many levels. It's cute on a much smaller scale if I'm actually dating you. It is very to the maximum not cute when I've started thinking that you're awesome and then you are a different person every three days. You don't get to be crazy, that's a girl thing. You know that, I mean you say it all the time. Geez guy.

Please don't accidentally be in love with me. I get it, I was nice to you. I get that a lot of people are not nice. The deeper meaning is not that I'm in love with you, it's that I was nice to you. Stop that. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.

You know that girl you are still completely in love with? She doesn't care what you're doing. There is a reason you are not with her right now. It's because she doesn't want to be with you and potentially also has some kind of restraining order. I know you're hurt and lonely and you want to move on, except that you secretly don't and would rather wallow in your own self-pity and obsess over her until an intervention takes place. The cure for this affliction is not to make a pass at me. I will show you sympathy and potentially do something stupid. Then I will become frustrated at your selfishness. After that, I will become confused. In my confusion, I may hurt myself, yourself or both of us. This is not a badge worth getting in such a context.

Do not tell me about your ex, or about how attractive my mate is, or about how hot every female without a moustache in a 50 kilometer radius is. You just instantly became a child in a man's body and a complete sleazebag, not to mention the friends you just lost for your behaviour that you will later be confused about when they stop answering your calls. People can see and hear you, guy.

And yes dude, I get that we're over. Please do not tell me how happy you are now without me, how wonderful your lovely new girlfriend is or hook up with that girl over there at this awkward party of a mutual friend and then make a point of telling me about it. I will walk away with her and make her my girlfriend for the night, and we both know your manhood won't be able to deal with that. Make like a normal guy, move on and get the girl without giving me a minute-by-minute rundown of it. Worse - for the sake of your own dignity, don't lean into me and tell me how many weights you press at the gym now. We're done here. Again, people can hear you.

Oh, and Mr.Guythatyouare, please don't feel that I'm off sleeping with Mr.I'msosorryIdon'tknowwhathappenedbutitwon'thappenagain, just because I do not answer your calls in a three-hour period. That has never, ever happened to me, I simply do not cheat. In order to quell your deepest fears, I have prepared a list of some of the more likely activities currently delaying my response:
  • I am watching an embarrassing television series about feelings and teenage angst in my bedroom while eating something disgusting in an adult onesie and feel the need to simultaneously indulge my own bad taste and hide my shame from the world.
  • I'm sitting on the internet reading about the newest way to create unique nail design while browsing eBay for things I can neither afford nor need.
  • I'm asleep and super happy about it.
  • I am frantically writing a last-minute essay because I spent the entire night between facebook and 4chan again.
  • I am baking something and singing badly to 90's music that was bad when it came out, let alone now.
  • The dog needs a wash and she has managed to cover herself in something so nasty that it surpasses the regular cuteness associated with doggy bath time.
  • I'm reading some fiction book that I will forever deny all appreciation for.
  • I'm blogging or drawing a picture while singing to myself with the bedroom door very much locked.
  • I'm out with my friends, flinging myself into the ocean or possibly at a cinema or sporting event where phones do not naturally survive.
  • I have suddenly remembered my great passion for personality-type theory and am spending hours alone in my room reading trash psychology.
I am a very outgoing person and I love people, I love them ever so much. I also deeply enjoy time to myself. I am not one of those girls who will spend every waking hour with you. Unless we're breaking some sort of bed-related record, I'm unlikely to want to be attached to you at the hip. This is a good thing for both of us and I'm positive that you don't want to see me when I'm in 'alone time' mode.

I am not as crazy as you imagine. I am not your collection of batshit-insane exes. Please stop thinking that I'm going to trap you in a relationship and then immediately slap on the ring, pump out a bunch of kids and make a point of owning your ass and demanding to decide your every move. I don't want you to buy me things constantly because I say so. Further to this, my thought on flowers is that you have just bought me a pointless dead thing that I'll have to throw out and clean a vase for in a weeks' time. Save your money and take me go-karting or to the laser tag, we'll both enjoy that. I think your porn stash is funny and possibly relevant, not personally offensive. I'm not going to force any sort of organised religion down your throat. Stopping you from going out on the weekends is not on the agenda. Please, for all that is sacred, go out with your mates and have a good time. I want you to be happy when I see you, not weeping in a corner with no friends. My sole purpose in life is not to crush your spirit. I know that you have a way of finding the worst type of girl, but don't let that be your assumption of the next girl just because you're scared and hurt by the last idiot that didn't see what they had or did something otherwise as nasty.

I'll probably want to date you if I like you and see copious amounts of sex in our future. None of the previous paragraph is a part of that. My interests involve camping, fishing, cars, comedy and action shows, guitar, the beach, my friends, animal welfare, music and doing flips and shit. So long as you are loyal to me, don't leave unflushed urine in the toilet bowl, don't mistake me for your mother, maintain a relatively good level of personal hygiene, do plenty of dirty things to me on a regular basis and at least attempt to be nice to me once-in-a-while, we're golden.

Yours Sincerely,

B xx