Jun 2, 2011

When did love become a transaction?

Readers, I have to admit I have become perplexed with modern society. Before I start, I'm telling you up-front that this post is going to make me feel very old, and it may even have some slightly condescending undertones. Nevertheless, this is an observation of mine that I feel needs addressing.

Ten years ago, I started dating. No, I can't believe it's been that long either. Anyway, we shall push forward. Once upon a time ten years ago, a girl went out to a party with her friends. She had spent the afternoon excitedly shopping for something to wear with her girlfriends and had everything just right as she walked into the party. Then she met Mr.Guy. She rushed to her girlfriends for a second opinion and he seemed to look at her from the corner of his eye now-and-then. Everyone had a couple of drinks and he made his move. There was a little flirting, hugs, perhaps some kissing, and an exchange of numbers. Three-to-five days later he gave her a call, and they started dating.....or she never heard from him again.

People, when did this change in Western culture?!? Lately I'm noticing a trend with guys where you have that typical flirtatious period, he shows interest, he gives you his number........and then you get that now-typical, super frustrating line: "Oh, you're cool with just a casual thing, right?". I wondered if it was something I was doing wrong after three guys in a row tried this one, but after speaking to many of my girlfriends, it appears to be the current norm.

What girl actually wants this? When did it become acceptable to even ask this of a girl? I mean sure, if both parties want such a thing then fine, I'm not one to judge, but this would have been an absolute anomaly on the dating scene ten years ago. Either you hook up with a guy, do your thing and never see them again, or you date. One-night-stands are awkward enough for one night, I can't even imagine a reason why you would want to draw out the process. Personally, I don't even do one-night-stands.

Perhaps I'm being old-fashioned here, but surely I'm not alone on this. Don't most girls want to be in a happy, loving relationship, regardless of the risks of putting yourself out there? I wonder what has caused such a shift. Maybe it's the growing divorce rate? Perhaps something has altered womens' self-esteem levels in recent years and sex has become something used as verification? I don't know. I always felt that sex was typically in the control of the woman. Why are we all suddenly giving that power away? Women's behaviour must have changed as well for an assumption of casual sex to have become acceptable in the first place. Our personal standards shape the way people treat us, it shouldn't be the other way around.

Before I go on to a little music, I'd just love to say a big thank-you to all of my readers. This blog has close to 5,000 views now and I'm very thankful that you're all enjoying it. xx

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