Aug 1, 2014

secret fancy-pants projects and procrastination

Well, my house is clean. I have a few towels to fold and put away once they are dry, and the rest is done! Dogs are washed, bedding is changed, folding is all done, I've even cleaned out my wardrobe! 

I do, however, still have three weeks' worth of Uni readings to catch up on. I've got focus, I'm just struggling to point it at the right things. I guess there was never going to be a complete cure. Anyway, I'll work on that....right around the project that I just decided to start, that will require at least another ten hours of my time and has a deadline of next week. Oh shiii.....oh well. It should be pretty fun.

The rest I will figure out as I go. I wish I could say more, as I'm pretty excited. I'll have to bite my tongue for now. Also I should be asleep. I have to be in class in just over seven hours. I feel pretty alert, we'll see how that goes. Every time I get a bit excited about something, I end up unable to sleep, no matter what is or isn't going on with medication. An off switch would be nice!

Anyway, I shall return at some point, hopefully having done my homework, and also having finished this project. Until next time, goodnight. Well. I'm going to read my new book until I flake out, but close enough. In the meantime, have another project that I started working on and haven't yet finished.

Feeling - Expectant
Listening to - That stupid bloody whistling heater!

Jul 31, 2014

yurts and UFOs

Ultimate lazy today, I am posting from my phone, in bed. It's been a pretty awesome day. I didn't do heaps, but what I did do was pretty great. I even started my uni readings! Granted, that was a job for three weeks ago, but hey, small victories. I'm happy, so that's some huge progress on its own.

One of the cooler things today was meeting a lady that has lived in a yurt for two years. She went traveling, stayed in them, loved it, and bought her very own one once she returned home. She has one power plug, a pot belly stove for heating and cooking, and no running water. I was blown away. I'm not sure I could deal with the lack of amenities, but it's so pretty. I also discovered a show called Grand Designs today, which has got me thinking about wanting to build my own house one day. We shall see, I guess. One of my neighbours growing up had made a mud brick house, and it was actually pretty cool. So I guess it is doable! One thing at a time for now though.

I'm also pleased with myself today because I have started a new UFO. At this point you are probably raising an eyebrow. Well, "UFO" is a term my artist aunt coined, and means "UnFinished Object". Needless to say, we both have a passion for creative projects, and don't always finish them. This one I'm pretty sure I will though. It's already looking pretty sweet, and I have a deadline. I have to keep it hush hush until it's done, but I've shown a few people personally and I'm suddenly getting a stack of commission requests. That's usually a good sign of things to come. Well, I'm going to try and catch some Zzzzs now. I've just started taking melatonin, after the valerian was pretty useless. I feel pretty ready to sleep, so here's hoping!

Feeling - optimistic
Listening to - my fur babies snoring

Jul 30, 2014

book nostalgia

This might sound a little odd, but I feel much more like who I was back before I went through puberty since I've been treated. I guess it's possibly not that odd - the whole ADHD thing in women is meant to work that way, so it kind-of makes sense that I'd feel more like my pre-pubescent self now that treatment has become effective. How does this relate to this post?

Well, I was putting off my university reading looking for books to read. I know, I know, that's a pretty silly resolution to a problem...don't want to read book, I know! I'll find other books to read. Brilliance, right there. In reality, it's a different kind of experience. I'm finding myself much more able to read in long bouts again, and really enjoying it. There is a level of escapism there that becomes incredibly relaxing.

When I was a teenager, we lived in a house that was in the process of being pulled down. It had all sorts of problems. The tiles in the family room and kitchen were loose as a result of bad foundations and bad laying, and they would lift up and stab you in the feet as you walked on them - we are talking big, blue, slate tiles. In my bedroom, the carpet had gone moudly and it really grossed me out. One day I just cracked it and ripped the lot of it up and binned it. There were unpolished floorboards underneath, and I was much happier with occasionally standing on a nail than dealing with the gross carpet while we built the new house behind the old one we were living in. There was also very little space, for my books in particular.

I was a growing teen, and had become more interested in other things in life. My whole family shared a study, and this was the late 90's in the country, so it had just begun to get crammed full of CDs and various other computer-related paraphernalia. The unfortunate side-effect of this was that there was suddenly no room for my childhood books. I was a fairly unorganised and messy teen, and so one day my mother just cracked it and put all my books in the shed for storage. This was done with the intention of preserving them some place safe that was not in the way, and it would have been fine, had the shed not developed a leak directly above where they lived in the shed over the years. I went back a few years ago to find all my books and most of them were not in great shape, to say the least.

Tonight I've found myself suddenly remembering all of these books that I read, before adult life got in the way. It's funny the way these sort of things have started happening. It's as if all of these childhood memories that I've always had stashed are suddenly easily accessible to me. I had a similar thing happen while chatting with a friend I've known since age 12 about our school days last week, and my memory continues to come flooding back. It's a bit nice. Anyway, tonight I had an image pop into my head of this series of books that I read somewhere around age 12-14, and they were fond memories. I cannot for the life of me remember the names of the books in this series, but I know I've seen at least one of them in the shed somewhere. Now I really want to know, so that I can go back and re-read them. In light of all of this, I've decided to try and restore (and in places replace) my childhood and teen-aged library. I always had this idea in my head that I'd pass books on to my kids one day, and I think now is the time to actually start restoring my collection. The rest can come later.

I managed to track down the same print of one of the other books in my collection online tonight, so that will make part one of this little book adventure of mine. It's a particularly important one to me, although it's a little "younger". My grandmother used to read the stories in it to me when I stayed over there, and unfortunately my grandmother (who I have always been incredibly close to) is now in the late stages of Alzheimer's Disease. I was eventually given a copy of this book, but alas it got eaten up by the shed. I think of that book, and memories I had tucked away of time with my grandparents come flooding back. I think it will be nice to re-read everything from my younger years, enjoy those books again - and also bring back some memories that I didn't even realise I'd lost. I'll let you know when I finally figure out that other book title!

In the meantime, my grandma's book, the one that we always shared, is pasted up above.

Jul 29, 2014


Not much to report really, but I did get stuff done today. I finally got through the pile of folding that has been haunting me for a month. That might sound a bit funny, but I've been struggling to do much of anything recently. It was nice to get through something. If I can work on a few uni readings tonight, I'll actually be up-to-date with my life. That has never happened before. Happy feels, right there.

It's a bit quiet here tonight. I'm a bit bored and lonely, but I also can't really be stuffed leaving the house. Do I draw? Watch TV? Do those readings......maybe I could just read a good book? People reading this, please leave me some ideas for books to read, shows to watch, or things to draw. I'm not used to having real free time! Bonus for today - I got that rain I wanted *and* I found my drawing stylus.

Feeling - content

into oblivion

I was doing so well with the concept of getting to sleep at some time at least vaguely around midnight this time.....and then I discovered that Jhonen Vasquez has a tumblr. Holy shit I just lost 2 hours of my life and I could not be happier about it. Thank you Jhonen, thank you. I'm not sure how I'm going to doze off now. I thought briefly about working out at the gym down the road until I couldn't people anymore, and decided that was enough exercise for one night. Then I decided I'd draw some....but of course I have lost my stylus. I'm going to go on a mind adventure instead now. That probably makes no sense to some/most of you. I'll simplify: I have nowhere to really be tomorrow. I have ADHD. If I turn out all the lights and just let my mind wander, I'll probably think of some really cool random shit, especially after virtually inhaling about 2 hours' of Vasquezs' creative/hilarious genius. Worst case scenario, I'll listen to my dogs snore for a while while I'm lying about in some super comfy jammies. The only way this could get better was if there were rain. Actually rain, and having my vision back. Being able to lie in bed with the window open, looking out at the rain and stars would be amazing. At least I can still kinda visualise it. It's been nearly 9 years since my distance vision went. Yes. I can tell already this is going to be a good night, my memory is being all visual and such. And I can smell rain now because I thought of rain. Is it normal to be able to picture a scent? Probably not. Boo, I lose the normal game. Oh well, I've got this kickass rain scent on-demand, who needs normal at nearly 3am anyway? Meds have worn off a little and I'm in a good mood, AND I don't have to be anywhere or be around anyone for a solid 8 or so more hours. This is heaven. Also, I went from Vasquez to brain rain smells. Welcome to my mind I guess. Sometimes I like to just write shit and see where it takes me. When, and only when, I'm in a good mood.

Night all xx